Horse JokesA man walks up to a shetland pony and asks: "Do u have a sore throat?" The pony replies: "No i’m just a little horse"
A man was driving into town, and he fell in a big ditch in the middle of the road. A farmer came up and said, "My horse Sebastian can pull you out," the man said ok and the farmer got Sebastian. When Sebastian was hooked up, the farmer said, "Pull Ranger! C’mon Benny! Lets go Delilah!!!!" Then the farmer said, "Pull Sebastian, pull!" Then the car was out of the ditch, the man said, "I have a question, why did you say the wrong name three times?" And the farmer said, "Because Sebastian is blind, if he knew other horses weren’t pulling, he wouldn’t even try..." Some race horses staying in a stable ... Some race horses staying in a stable. One of them starts to boast about his track record. "In the last 15 races, I've won 8 of them!" Another horse breaks in, "Well in the last 27 races, I've won 19!!" "Oh that's good, but in the last 36 races, I've won 28!", says another, flicking his tail. At this point, they notice that a greyhound dog has been sitting there listening. "I don't mean to boast," says the greyhound, "but in my last 90 races, I've won 88 of them!" The horses are clearly amazed. "Wow!" says one, after a hushed silence. "A talking dog." An American tourist was driving in County Kerry, when his motor stopped. He got out to see if he could locate the trouble. A voice behind him said, "The trouble is the carburetor." He turned around and only saw an old horse. The horse said again, "It's the carburetor that's not working." The American nearly died with fright, and dashed into the nearest pub, had a large whiskey, and told Murphy the bartender what the horse had said to him. Murphy said, "Well, don't pay any attention to him, he knows nothing about cars anyway "Will I ever be able to race my horse again" the owner asked the vet. The vet replied, "You certainly will, and you'll probably beat her too!" A stallion and a mare where due to get married, but the stallion didn't show up at the church. He got colt feet Did you find my horse well behaved? Indeed, whenever we came to a jump he stopped and let me go over first! Did you hear about the depressed horse? He told a tale of whoa!
Did you hear about the horse with the negative altitude? He always said "Neigh" I had a near death experience that has changed me forever. The other day I went horsesback riding. Everything was going fine until the horse started bouncing out of control. I tried with all my might to hang on, but was thrown off. Just when things could not possibly get worse, my foot gets caught in the stirrup. When this happened, I fell head first to the ground. My head continued to bounce harder as the horse did not stop or even slow down. Just as I was giving up hope and losing consciousness, the Walmart manager came and unplugged the horse. Thank Goodness for heroes! Q: What did one horse say to the other horse? A: The pace is familiar but I can't remember the mane. Q: What did the bartender say to the horse? A: Why such a long face?
Q: Why did the horse take a slice of hay to bed? A: To feed his nightmares!!! Q: What breeds of horses can jump higher than a house? A: All breeds. Houses don't jump Q: How to make a small fortune in the horse industry ...
A: start with a large fortune
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